'Sometimes it is very difficult to keep firmly in mind that fact that the parents, too, have reasons for what they do -

       have reasons, locked in the depth of their personalities, for their inability to love, to understand, to give themselves

       to their children.' (Axline, V., 1964

 

Should you leave your baby to cry?

The research reveals that 4 out of 10 babies in the United States are not receiving the attention and affection from their mums and dads that are necessary for forming strong parental attachments. These neglected babies are rarely consoled by a mother or father when they cry in distress and they’re growing up to live in fear and distrust of their parents. The study found that babies who don’t bond with their parents before age 3 are more likely to face educational and behavioral problems in school and to grow into aggressive, defiant and hyperactive adults

Study: Too many kids getting too little love (Study/Amy Graff)

 

Most of the responsibilities that go along with caring for a new baby are exhausting and tedious. Consider nappy changes, late-night feedings and crazy sleep schedules. It’s the baby bonding — the kisses, cuddles and hugs — that’s the fun part of the job, yet a new study reveals that many parents are too stressed and stretched to experience those special intimate moments with their newborns. The research from Princeton University, Columbia University and the University of Bristol in England reveal that 4 out of 10 babies in the United States aren’t receiving the attention and affection from their mums and dads that’s necessary for forming strong parental attachments. These neglected babies are rarely consoled by a mother or father when they cry in distress and they’re growing up to live in fear and distrust of their parents. The study found that babies who don’t bond with their parents before age 3 are more likely to face educational and behavioral problems in school and to grow into aggressive, defiant and hyperactive adults.“When parents tune in to and respond to their children’s needs and are a dependable source of comfort, those children learn how to manage their own feeling and behaviors,” lead researcher Sophie Moullin, a joint doctoral candidate studying at Princeton’s Sociology Department, said in a statement. “These secure attachments to their mothers and fathers provide these children with a base from which they can thrive.”Researchers combed through over 100 academic papers and data on 14,000 children born in 2001 collected by a U.S. longitudinal study. Their analysis showed that about 60 percent of children develop strong bonds with their parents and these are formed through simple acts of affection, such as being held lovingly. The parental attention supports the children’s social and emotional development and strengthens their cognitive development. The 40 percent of children who lack tight bonds are more likely to enter school with poor language and behavior and their struggles continue throughout life. Parents most often aren’t giving their children the attention and love they deserve because they’re ignorant, overstressed and living in poverty and struggling with issues that don’t allow them to focus on their children. Categories: Uncategorized

 

 

 

Attachment Parenting

 

There is nothing new about 'Attachment Parenting' except that it has been given the trendy title that appears to make it an official parenting method. Although the theories that underpin it date back to the 1960s, the profile of the method – that stipulates children are kept physically close to their mother at all times, so their needs are met immediately. It is what many mothers have always known if they are sufficiently confident to follow their instinct and take a person-centered approach to their relationship with their baby. A philosophy, a way of life, a way of being rather than a parenting methodology. It is all about building strong bonds with your child by responding to their needs in a timely and sensitive way. It is about modelling behaviour you wish to see and having respect, empathy and a desire for connection. It is about life-long relationship quality built on foundations of physical closeness and emotional understanding.

 

Attached families may enjoy the benefits of bedsharing, babywearing or breastfeeding but these are not essential; they simply support the ability to be a highly responsive parent. The essential part of 'Attachment Parenting' is a willingness to know and nurture your child - through every developmental change and every challenging behaviour, with trust in your instincts about what you and your child needs. Attachment Parenting is about balance too; it is about parental self-empathy and self-care and finding the support we all need when it matters most. So reach out and find a community to share in the exciting journey of parenthood by finding your local AP group and become part of this welcoming family.

 

Parents wishing to respond in this way can be supported through the Developmental Movement Play programme which provides the supportive environment for mother and baby to grow thei relationship together with support from a sensitive, nurturing facilitator.