'Skinscapes' and 'Bodyscapes' - artwork from my scar ravaged body after cancer treatment
Why is it that serious illness brings such deep changes to our lives?
At last I feel that I am able to spend time doing the things that I have put on hold since childhood. I am happy to spend the day being creative just for the hell of it rather than having to be productive and working. A lesson learned almost too late. It no longer matters that my artwork is never going to be a masterpiece. I can do it now purely to enjoy the process of being creative. It no longer matters that in old age I cannot dance like a ballerina - I dance for the sheer hell of it, because I want to and because I still can - JUST (in my own eyes). I dance to relaese the pain in a body that no longer works like it used to because of sveral difficult but unseen illnesses that now classify me as 'disabled'.
I spend all day and night on my computer without the feeling of guilt that comes from thinking I ought to be out doing something better. Sometimes there is nothing better, especially when I can hardly move my body. And when I can't move I imagine the pictures I am going to paint in the pictures that run across,my ceiling evry night and give me ideas or re-run the story of my life. Fantasy? Sometimes. More often the pictures on my ceiling are nothing more than creations made by the shadows coming in through curtainless windows. How they have always been. Who wants to shut out the outdoors when it is capable of producing such intriguing scenes flashing like films across my ceiling. Have I slipped back into the processing I spent years going through in EMDR In the moment I am there. Re-living past life or star of my own show? What or who is peeping between the swaying branches of the bamboo tree creating the shadows on my ceiling. A child's joy? A child's fear?
Who would have thought my scar ravaged body would see me using it to create what I now call 'bodyscapes' or 'skinscapes' for the galleries I've created on my website. Good can come from bad, or so I think. A matter of opinion like everything else.
On another note. Why is it that I am now finding so much work when I am not looking for it? Have more clients than I can fit in and really don't want to hold a waiting list.